To the Grieving Father on Mother's Day
As Mother’s Day approaches you may have a pit in your stomach that you have to navigate this day without her - the Mother of your children & your beautiful wife. I hate this for you and for your children. I hope these tips will help you prepare for this day. I hope the pain lifts a bit and you see the opportunity to create a tradition that your children will remember for years to come and may even include their children in. Relationships live on - even after death.
Be open with your children on how you feel about this day approaching and ask them how they feel about it. Many schools celebrate this day, so even talking with them about when Mother’s Day comes up. Give them the tools to prepare. Some children need a little slogan, such as “ Yes, I’d like to make a card for my Mom, I still celebrate her life.”
Preparation is key. Create and plan a new tradition that includes honoring their Mom’s life and legacy. Here are a few ideas:
- Go somewhere beautiful and sit and share memories of how their Mother was beautiful.
- Buy a tree and plant it in honor of their Mom.
- Think about each child - was there something special their Mom did for them or with them? You can continue that tradition.
- Make Mom’s favorite meal, turn on fun music and dance!
- Celebrate one of their Mother’s friends by buying them flowers and delivering them and asking about funny stories about their Mom.
- Write letters to their Mom and send them on balloons at sunset.
- Bring flowers to the grave and allow each child to have their own time then come together as a family.
- Ask their Mom’s Mom to share stories of her while growing up over popcorn and root beer floats.
- While tucking your children in, remind them how you see their Mother in them. Is it their laugh, their smile, their button nose or their silliness? Tell them and see them light up.
Be creative. Be honest. And create a tradition that speaks to the beautiful person your children’s Mother was. I believe you have the strength to do this. You're their Father and they love you and need you. At the same time, think about carving in a small amount of time to take care of you leading up to this day. Where do you feel close to her? Go there. Talk to her. Tell her you miss her. Are you feeling angry? Go for a run, check out a boxing club. Anger is okay - get it out. Feeling completely overwhelmed with sadness? Cry - let it out. Take care of you so you can take care of your children.
I hope something surprisingly beautiful happens this Mother’s Day for you and your children that knits you closer together and brings smiles to your faces and laughs to your bellies. You can do this.
A Haven Team