“Mommy, Mommy! I Found Noah!”

When Noah was born, his family already knew they would have to say goodbye.

During the anatomy scan, his parents learned that their baby had a life-limiting diagnosis and would not survive after birth. They had several months to prepare for meeting their son—and for losing him.

While pregnant, Noah’s mother, Cara, noticed a brochure for A Haven at a local store. She knew it was a resource her family might someday need, although she didn’t yet want to think about it.

“I knew that our family would benefit from being in a place where loss is so openly talked about.”

Noah was born on October 11, 2023, at Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. His parents were able to have their daughters meet their baby brother while he was alive, creating precious memories they would carry with them.

A few months after Noah died, his three-year-old sister began showing her grief in ways that were difficult for the family to navigate. After conversations with Carrie at A Haven, Cara’s experience was normalized and she was encouraged to try Family Group. The family joined in the fall of 2024.

“We are so glad we found this special community!”

A Place Where Grief Is Welcome

The family wasn’t sure what to expect from A Haven. What they found was a place where there was no pressure to grieve in a particular way.

“The staff and volunteers are so gentle and thoughtful in the way they care for the families and children who attend. They encourage sharing, but never require it.”

That freedom was especially meaningful for their daughters. They could talk about Noah if they wanted to, but they never had to. And surrounded by other children who had experienced loss, they knew they weren’t alone.

One daughter, who didn’t always want to share, “begged to go every week, and still asks to go to A Haven!”

Grief Has No Checklist

Through her own experience, Noah’s parents have learned that grief isn’t linear.

They wish more people understood that grief doesn’t follow a checklist or timeline. Nearly three years after Noah’s death, the family still experiences waves of shock, anger, sadness, and acceptance. They share that though their grief may have “softened with time, (they) can still be hit with a wave of any of those emotions on any given day.

“At A Haven, we talk about anything from milestones to memories to ordinary days when we miss our person, and it’s understood and held.”

The refuge that A Haven brings is knowing that you never have to explain your grief or navigate it alone.

“Mommy, Mommy! I Found Noah!”

One of the family’s most meaningful A Haven experiences happened during their second Remembrance Walk.

Before the walk, volunteers help families create a sign honoring the people they have lost. For the Hathaways, one volunteer found little stick-figure stickers representing every member of their family: their four girls, Noah, and even their dog who had died the year before.

The girls loved seeing everyone represented.

During the walk, their daughter Lucy was walking a little ahead when she spotted their sign. She came running back to her family, excitedly calling:

“Mommy, Mommy! I found Noah!”

For Cara, the moment was both heartbreaking and beautiful.

“There is something so beautiful about seeing our children remember and love their brother so naturally, even though they never got the chance to grow up with him here.”

That moment captures something essential about childhood grief: children don't need to forget the person who died in order to heal.

They need places where they can remember. Places where they can say their person’s name. Places where love for someone who died can be carried openly.

For Noah’s family, A Haven has become that place.

Because remembering is part of loving.

And love doesn’t end when someone dies.